Why is it so hard to let it go? Matt 18:21-35

Why is it so hard to let it go?

August 19, 2012
Matthew 18:21-35

Introduction

• Have you ever had someone who really hurt you?
• Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before.
• But she acted as if she had never even heard of the incident. "Don't you remember it?" her friend asked. "No," came Barton's reply, "I distinctly remember forgetting it." - Luis Palau, Experiencing God's Forgiveness, Multnomah Press, 1985.
• Some things we can take in our stride, are relatively easy to deal with
• Other things that happen go deeper, to the core of our being
• Sometimes we find it hard to let it go
• I use that phrase, letting it go, because as Christians we know the standard is that we must forgive
• If asked if we have forgiven so and so, we will say yes, I have forgiven them
• But then we often add, but I will never forget what he did to me
• It is this aspect of letting it go, that I want to discuss this morning

Reading

• Matthew 18:21-35

Why the parable?

• Peter wanted to have a standard as to how often he should forgive a particular brother
• How many of us have people who repeatedly hurt us in the same manner
• One we can forgive. The second time is harder, the third time we are thinking, this person doesn’t really care, and we start to build a scorecard for this person
• Peter was thinking he had it covered, if he forgave his brother 7 times
• Jesus’ response is that it is way more, astronomically more
• Seventy times seven, is 490 times
• There are few people whom I have had to forgive so many times
• Jesus intentionally gave an huge number, because he doesn’t want us to keep a scorecard

Forgiveness is a state of mind

• We sometimes think that forgiveness is an action that we take
• And yes, it is an action
• But things have to go beyond just the words, I forgive you
• Forgiveness comes from the heart
• What things stand in the way of forgiveness
• 1. Entitlement
  • we may feel that it would be unfair if this person were to get away with murder, hopefully not literally
  • we are entitled to have a peaceful copacetic life, including our relationship with this person(means agreeable, all right, alright, satisfactory, ducky, fine, good, hunky-dory, jake [slang], OK (or okay), palatable
  • we may feel because he said or did something hurtful, I am entitled to his asking for forgiveness
  • but forgiveness is a state of heart (verse 35)
  • We are not entitled to anything except separation from God
  • It is by grace alone, that we may be forgiven
  • We can’t earn it, it is God’s free gift, through Jesus
• 2. Pride
  • pride comes from having an exalted view of ourselves
  • pride was Satan’s downfall
  • he got an idea that he was stronger and better than God
  • But God set him right in that idea, he knows God is in charge, and Jesus said even the demons believe and tremble!
  • When we have a big head, thinking we know it all, and we have it right, and the other person has it wrong, that’s the time to dial down our attitude
  • Col 3:12-15
  • We have been called to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient
  • Let peace reign in our hearts!
• 3. Our desire to get even
  • “The mother ran into the bedroom when she heard her seven-year-old son scream. She found his two-year-old sister pulling his hair.
  • She gently released the little girl’s grip and said comfortingly to the boy, "There, there. She didn’t mean it. She doesn’t know that hurts." He nodded his acknowledgement, and she left the room.
  • As she started down the hall the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?"
  • The little boy replied, "She knows now." - [source: www.preachingtoday.com]
  • We by nature want to get even
  • But Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:38-39 to turn the other cheek.
  • This means we do not retaliate in kind
  • Rom 12:17-21 – Instead, bless your enemy, overcome evil by doing good to him
• 4. Forgetting how much God has forgiven us
  • Sometimes we forget the depths from which we have come, and now think of ourselves a better than the other
  • When we forget what Jesus has done for us, we may find it hard to forgive another
  • We can become blasé about our relationship with Jesus
  • God no longer is vibrant and alive in our life
  • We take our own forgiveness for granted, and so don’t see a need to forgive someone else, as we ourselves have been forgiven.
  • This servant in Matthew 18, forgot where he had come from
  • He did not recognize that he previously was in a worse state than his friend
  • And so he exacts vengeance, and wants his pound of flesh
  • Jesus’ big point was, if we don’t forgive the other person, from our heart, he won’t forgive us.
  • Matt 6:14-15 – if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us

Conclusion

• General Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley, "I never forgive and I never forget." To which Wesley replied, "Then, Sir, I hope you never sin." - Unknown.
• Are we someone who finds it hard to forgive?
• We need to learn to forgive completely, from the heart
• Sometimes it is hard to squeeze the words out
• But until we forgive from the heart, we are still under judgment
• Let peace be in your family
• Let peace reign in your relationships
• Let peace be in this house.