Gerry van der Wende: Freedom From Offense!

Freedom from offense!

June 30, 2013

Psalm 119:165 KJV

INTRODUCTION

Last week we discussed the importance of the words we speak
Our words can initiate either blessing or cursing
This can and will have a lasting effect in our relationships, unless we choose to deal with it and make amends
Even then, we cannot remove words that we spoke, and even careless words show what our heart is like inside
But what if you are at school, and someone says something that cuts into you like a knife?
What if you are at work and your boss or a colleague says something that is totally unfair?
What if something happened in the family that shook you to your core?
Today we are going to look at the subject of offense
How should we deal with it when someone says or does something that offends us?
Should we just leave it, and not react?
What impact will it have on us?
Do we have control over the way the other person's words impact us?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO OFFEND?

The Bible uses the word offend a number of times
It is mainly used in the new testament
Greek: skandalizo AV - offend 28, make to offend 2; 30
1) to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall, to entice to sin, to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey
2) to cause to fall away, to be offended in one, i.e. to see in another what I disapprove of and what hinders me from acknowledging his authority, to cause one to judge unfavourably or unjustly of another, since one who stumbles or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed
3) to cause one displeasure at a thing, to make indignant, to be displeased, indignant
So to offend goes pretty deep
It is a stumbling block, stumbling blocks hurt
That stumbling block can lead to sin, causing distrust
We see something in someone which we don't like, which stops us from seeing them the way God sees them, whether they are someone in authority or not
Ultimately, it distorts our vision of people, and ruins relationships

WHAT IF SOMEONE ELSE OFFENDS US?

Now we turn this definition around
We are the ones who feel hurt
We are the ones who are liable to sin, and distrust each other
We are the ones who suffer the loss of relationship that comes from distrust
This is how offense affects us. This then leads to other issues, such as anger, resentment and bitterness
So the sins that taking offense at someone leads to, are distrust, disunity, anger, resentment and bitterness
There is something crazy about this – the other person commits the offense, and we end up sinning in all kinds of ways

HOW DO WE RESPOND TO OFFENSE?

Psalm 119:165 KJV - Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
A standard is given here – if we love God's law, nothing will offend us!
The implication here is that taking offense at something, is something that is under our control
We get to choose, will or will I not allow this thing that happened, to change the way I see that person
But how do we deal with this issue then?

LOOK AT THINGS FROM GOD'S PERSPECTIVE

Phil 2:5 – Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus
We need to be learning to look at things from Jesus' perspective
1. Jesus forgives
Matt 18:35 – parable of the unforgiving servant
God expects us to forgive from the heart
That seems hard. But that is what God expects of us.
So this is the goal to which we are working
Forgiveness is like an onion, layer by layer
Matt 6:15 – unless we forgive, we ourselves will not be forgiven
If we do not forgive the other for the offense, from the heart, God will not forgive us for our distrust, disunity, anger, resentment and bitterness
2. God understands where we are coming from
Psa 103:8-14 – God is ready to forgive, as far as the east is from the west, and he considers our humanity
Mark 6:34 – Jesus has compassion on the crowds
Compassion was at the core of Jesus' ministry
We too need to have this compassion and understanding
When someone offends us, think about what brought them to say or do this.
Can we understand where they are coming from?
3. Choose to suffer wrong, rather than exact revenge
A basic principle of New Testament living
Matt 5:38-39 – we do not retaliate
Matt 5:9 – we are peacemakers
Rom 12:17-21 – don't take revenge
Overcome evil with good

CONCLUSION

When someone does something that offends us, let's not take offense
Instead, let's look at things from God's perspective
We need to forgive, and consider our own sins as well
Look at where the person is coming from, perhaps we can understand their motivations
Choose to suffer wrong for righteousness' sake
Overcome evil with good, do good things to win them over
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Allow God to work through you to bring peace into your relationships

Gerry van der Wende