I Don't Want to be Hurt Again
January 30, 2011
Matt 18:21
Introduction
- Jesus tells us in the Lord's prayer that if we forgive men when they sin against us, our heavenly Father will also forgive us
- So we know we should forgive
- But it seems so hard to do this
- It is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do
- You see, hurt is an emotional pain
- Hurt is like a stab wound - sometimes it is near the surface, but sometimes it goes really deep
- It being emotional does not make it any easier to forgive
- And then God says to us, you must forgive
- How can we do this?
Ways we get hurt
- People let us down
- Psa 35:11-16 They repay me evil for good and leave my soul forlorn
- God seems to let us down
- Job 30:20-26
- Circumstances let us down
- Matt 5:45 He [the Father] causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous
- Things happen in life and we are upset at the economy, our job, the finance market,
The effect of hurt
- When we are hurt, we tend to go one of two ways
- 1. We withdraw
- We withdraw from the person who caused the hurt
- We want to hide and lick our wounds
- If it is a person who has hurt us, we avoid being with them
- We dont talk about the hurt, we bottle it up and avoid them
- This affects our relationship drastically
- People who are brothers and sisters in Christ avoid each other
- If we are angry at God, we tend to isolate from him
- We stop praying, listening to him, reading his word
- Our relationship does not disappear, but it weakens and we cant communicate effectively
- 2. We lash out
- Our anger can cause us to lash out and say something we later regret
- We may try to repay the other person by causing them pain
- We may talk about them behind their back
- Job said some things about God that he later had to repent of
- Job 42:1-6
The road to recovery
- Open up
- Part of the reason the hurt lingers for so long, is that it has been bottled up
- We need to let these hurts out, with a trusted individual
- We should all have someone to whom we turn, who will listen without judgment
- For a lot of things, this person may be our spouse
- But often it is good and wise to have an accountability partner who is not family
- James 5:16 Confess your faults ... be healed
- This particularly relates to emotional healing
- We need to express the pain to someone, and let it out of our system
- Give it to Jesus
- Then we need to give the burden of pain and hurt to Jesus
- Matt 11:28 - when we are carrying hurt and pain, it is a burden
- Jesus offers to carry it for us
- Psa 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord
- It is not for us to carry these burdens
- When we carry them they will embitter us, break relationships and ultimately destroy us and our relationship even with God
- We need to let it out, and then give it to God
- Reconcile
- Then we go to our brother and sort it out
- Matt 18:15-17
- Remember that the purpose of going to our brother is to reconcile, not to accuse and stab them back
- Sometimes we are at fault, and while talking to the other person we recognize this
- Matt 5:23-24
- Then go and tell him you are sorry and ask for forgiveness
- Reconciliation is the name of the game
- 2 Cor 5:17-20
Moving on
- The sea of forgetfulness
- Once we have reconciled, let it go
- God forgets our sins, he remembers them no more
- Psa 103:8-14 East from west
- Jer 31:34 I will remember their sin no more
- Micah 7:19 Depths of the sea
- As Jesus dwells in us, we will be taking on his attributes
- We too will be forgiving and forgetting
Conclusion
- It may seem easier to not make waves
- But the results are a deep bitterness inside, and broken relationships
- We will be with each other for eternity!
- Better to express our pain, give it to Jesus and reconcile
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